Sabtu, 19 Juli 2008
iT'S AH BENG JOKES
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "Salesgirl : -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.After much thought, he writes " Yes " -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flaskBoss : "What is that shiny object ?"Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."Boss : "What does it do ?"Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"Boss : "What do you have in it !?"Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"Boss : --------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to the other ear ?"Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend."It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags."FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims."YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York , the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"-------? ? ? ? ? ? ?-------
LETTER FROM AH BENG
Luckily, we are not so Beng!
Dear Ah Lian
Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.
You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?
Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.
You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he
take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.
Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you
must come with your hole family.
I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when
you got time, please few
free to call me. Goo bye.....
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "Salesgirl : -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.After much thought, he writes " Yes " -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flaskBoss : "What is that shiny object ?"Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."Boss : "What does it do ?"Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"Boss : "What do you have in it !?"Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"Boss : --------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!" -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear, lah"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to the other ear ?"Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."Ah Beng : "THANK YOU , lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE. -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend."It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags."FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims."YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".-------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
At a bar in New York , the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"-------? ? ? ? ? ? ?-------
LETTER FROM AH BENG
Luckily, we are not so Beng!
Dear Ah Lian
Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.
You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look?
Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.
You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he
take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he
take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.
Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.
My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you
must come with your hole family.
I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me.
Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when
you got time, please few
free to call me. Goo bye.....
IMPORTANT TIPS FOR YOU!!!!!!
Health
Important Tips Answer the phone by LEFT ear.
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.
Do not take pills with COOL water.
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times
Important Tips Answer the phone by LEFT ear.
Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.
Do not take pills with COOL water.
Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.
Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.
Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.
Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.
Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.
When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times
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